If I planted a flower each time I thought of you, my garden will bloom forever.

Friday, July 31, 2009 1:41:00 PM

No sense of fulfillment.

I feel so frustrated today.

The moment i got home, dad came back home too. I was scolded because his phone is malfunctioning. Goodness, you know what? i was super flare up with him. It was already a long day for me. And yet i'm getting scolded because he's phone isn't working well. This is crap shit please. Nonsense.. It's not as if i touch his phone or whatever. Hello, & it doesn't make sense. Scolded and shouted vulgarities to your own daughter, saying how lousy she is just because your damn phone is malfunctioning. It speaks so much about you. Yes it does, venting your anger on someone who doesn't know how to fix your phone uh. Shitty hell.

Anyway, Mission completed. (:

Went out to meet pearly and janice for awhile.

Came home @ about 7 plus.

Tmr will be quite a long day i guess. Gonna wake up real early, because will be going back to school to retur the gb donation card. Hahaha. & ALSO, meeting Theresa before going to the flag ceremony for APG!

Gdnighty, Gonna to take photos with Theresa!

She shaved her hair for the cancer foundation! (:

Thursday, July 30, 2009 11:23:00 PM

the pieces of my heart are missing you..

I miss photo-shooting. It's been a long long time since i go out for photo shooting! Have that soon with Moron, before our prelim start! (:

Yes, i miss them too. Kevin, Gina, Jovin.

I miss their craze! I miss my December holiday last year. Gonna meet up with the TANS' soon!

Miss them so much much! :(

8:00:00 PM

If i could turn back time, you'll still be mine.

Sometimes, i felt like i've given up already. Each time when i think of going to Sec 5, it dreads me. I don't know why, but i don't feel happy in sec 4. Don't even have to mention sec 5. If i could get into ITE, going into the course i like, Why not?

Please accept the fact that i don't really like forcing myself studying. But hey, do i even have a choice. I feel so down, like seriously. Why are people looking down on ITE? it's like like it's the end. Probably it's the parent's perception, and the child have to suffer under their perceptions. It really sucked. You know what? I rather go into the ITE course, that has photography in it. After all, i'm doing something that i like. It's hands on, and i need hands on stuff.

I don't know, but i felt like i'm already losing. Where's the motivation where i used to have? Where has it gone to? I felt like i'm losing them more and more, day by day.. )':

Whenever i think of my upcoming sucky months, I felt real down. You know what? So many people is away from me. What's this? Dad&mom is going on holidays next week, this week Rachel&family is going on holidays, stef will be away for Asian para games, then attachment. What the hell? Why is everyone everywhere..? and i'm here all alone?

All i want for now, study harder. Just merely pass my n'lvl. Do something that i like doing, best is stay at home be tai tai! hahaha. How i wish, SCHOOL SUCKS TREMENDOUSLY!

SHIT! I'M HAVING GASTRIC NOW.

Labels: to fight hard and never walk away..

Tuesday, July 28, 2009 3:22:00 PM

i won't worry my life away.

Feels so alarmed.

I feel damn irritated when i hear one lies after another.

Please don't friggin piss me off & jolly well hand up ur donation card.

How insensible she is, seriously.

Whatever!

Completed my Source base!(:

Monday, July 27, 2009 5:05:00 PM

yes i can manage!

Originally uploaded by T R I N A.

It's my dearest nephew & niece.

As you can see, Kai is pretty strong! Mr fit! Woohoo!

Sunday, July 26, 2009 1:40:00 PM

It's my life..

I suddenly felt jealous.

I didn't know why, but i really feel the jealousness.

Anyway, it's really good that the one who love me most called me last night.

You can never never ever ever guess who that is! It's grandpa. (:

Wow, love him lah. I'm pretty happy that he&grandma's shifting back to yishun. YAY!

and, more family gathering. No need to see their stuck up face already~ Yay! teehee!

Not that i hate them of whatever, but it was the adult who showed us attitude whenever we're there to visit our grandparents. Idiot, i seriously show so much about him anyway. Petty asshole. You seriously earn no respect from me. Idiotic asshole, *see money open eyes bigbig!*

Well, i'm going out real soon!

Things to bring:

1. camera.

2. tripod.

3. extra battery.

4. Handphone.

That should be all!

Teehee! i shall enjoy myself today.

It's 3weeks plus to prelim. Kill me please..

I should stop procrastinate, and start studying.

Stop play for now, and start studying.

Stop enjoying life and start studying.

Right now, Enjoy my Family BBQ~

Next: S.T.U.D.Y! MUG HARD!

Saturday, July 25, 2009 3:44:00 PM

Cuz you'll always be my baby.

If you realized, i actually edited my blogskin today. Well, just the side bar. >> Hehehe! Oh yes, & also my music <<>Anyway, My friday night was an awesome one.

As you can see the photos above. We went to scarlet city and then headed to chomp comp for dinner. (: Good times together, Good Food, Good drinks.

Frolick too! <3

I seriously love the sugar cane drink!! (:

Stingray is awesome tooo! Btw, i'm gonna to have the stingray tmr! Because i'm so gonna to have my family bbq tmr! Woohooo! <3<3<3>

gonna to take hell lots of photos again. Especially FAMILY photo! Woohoo! (:

There are times when i look in your eyes, i see the love we shared, i see the joy inside. But i didn't see the feelings you hide, and now you're saying goodbye cause your love and feeling has died. Why don't love me anymore? Why don't you come back to me? You know i still care for you, you know i will love you forevermore. I feel the love that we share, i feel the joy inside. But your feeling has died. When i close my eyes, i see your face. My love can never be erased, you can never be replace. I think of you all night..

If life is filled with awesomeness, there wouldn't be sorrows.

Just like how i am feeling right now. I FEEL TERRIBLY SUCKED.

Labels: i never meant to start a war, this love feels like a battlefield.

Thursday, July 23, 2009 8:00:00 PM

i could have stayed up with you all night.

What can i do when all these good souls are leaving?

Seriously, nothing.

& so, i meet chiachia last night for the last time before she left. (:

it was good, it was awesome. ((HUGS))

you're a great friend. (: <3

I'll miss you when you're gone, for sure.

Well!

I should be happy that i know them! Instead of being upset over them leaving!

They will be back soon, i hope! Dhineash, carolyn, ann. Return back to me! Back to singapore! I miss you hell lots! <3!

I'm here for quite a long time. I know time is running short! But please, TRINA. Stop friggin wasting your time!!!

Lightroom, Facebook and everything is really making me stuck here! & yes, i'm tired alreadyyyyy!

It's gonna to be a lonely august, september. )':

Gonna to sleep soon!

Gdnight!

Labels: i'm still waiting for you.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009 10:42:00 PM

我还记得我们的约定.♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

The title of this post is pretty simple.

The promises that we've set isn't fulfilled yet anyway. Hmmm.

But i still remember each and everyone of them, clearly in my head.

Some photos are being posted here. Those happy times that i had in my 2009. (:

Flay day, Chinese new year, NDL boccia, Gb day, Farewell dinner for carolyn, sentosa with jovin/janice/pearly, Kelong trip.

These are the people whom i enjoy being with, i love their presence, i appreciate their presence.

I really feel so sick of everything. I feel so stressed out, i feel so down, i feel so tired.

Most importantly,

My heart is feeling fear..

Really, i never feel so scared before. The stress that i'm going thru right now, i can't cope.

I'm afraid that i might disappoint my parents. I'm afraid of Failing my N'lvl.

I'm afraid of going to ITE. )': I'm feeling pretty scared, pretty upset.

Tell me where were you when i needed you most.

I've been feeling so tired. I don't know what i will do in future, i don't know what i should do. I don't know. really don't know. I feel lost, just like you leaving my in the jungle. All alone, feeling lost. I don't like this feeling of getting lost. Lost in insecure, Lost in everything.

Anyway, Dad.

I need a word of comfort instead of sentence after sentence of discouragement. I don't need that. I seriously feel the stress already. So what if i'm here blogging and not studying? Hey, come on. I need a break. I really do. I'm not a robot. I can't be home 24/7 studying. I can't. My brain is malfunctioning. Trust me, it stucks at times. All these while i have been studying. But so what? Do you see it? No you don't. all you do is scolding at me because i'm not studying. Alright. I had enough OF RANTING. Sorry people. I just have to rant. Family's giving me quite a couple of problem. Apart from stressing me to study, other stuff is quite disturbing too. )':

If there's a choice, i chose to be truthful and daring a little.

Right now, time to endure these shit.

Anyway, it's getting real late.

Tmr, it's my best friend's birthday.

Dhineash Sivakumar Gopal Krisnan Chetiar's birthday.

Although he has been really irritating when he's around. But, i pretty miss him when he's gone. He's still the bestest friend i ever met. Oh no, it's the bestest indian friend i ever have. It's quite a pity that he's in USA now! If not, i'm sure birthday bash etc will come after him! Hahaha.

Happy birthday! (:

Another good friend of mine,

Mr Luqman Hakim.

Good day! Pontank school tmr ah... Hor hor..! Hahahaha. anyway, happy birthday!(:

Goodnight & Goodday! (:

Have a blessed night people!

Labels: always and forever. ♥, here for you, i'll stay still, if you have given me to chose again

Monday, July 20, 2009 8:52:00 PM

The times that i missed so much.

The song Baby girl by innervoice really touched me. The lyrics really speaks how i am feeling now. Sometimes i really felt so lonely, i felt so upset. You know, even my Best friends have been there for me all these while. The pain isn't invisible. Trust me, it isn't. The pain that i'm going thru is not easy to conquer them. It requires a lot of motivation, patient, endurance.

Sometimes i feel so upset that no one wants to hear me, the only way to vent my anger is blogging. Yet when i blog, i have to be cautious because those who read might get upset or even angry etc. I feel so tired of everything. Hiding my feelings, no one to hear my sorrows, no one lending me his/her ears, no one to talk to, no one to cry to. I feel so miserable. It's not like as if i have someone who understands me inside out.

Like i said, i feel damn upset when i see those written notes in my diary. It's all turning to memories, it's no longer happening anymore. One thing that we can't gain back is time. It's so true. When will i get over this? It's not easy, it's not something you can do over a night or over a month or so. So what if i teared? So what if i feel heart broken? Do you even care? Yea, it's true that you don't bother about me anyway. Ala, i don't know what i should do. I just feel kinda lost.

Well, recently i really don't feel good.

Emotionally tired. Emotionally freak out already.

All i can think about is you, when i look in your eyes, i can see those time we share, i can see those joy we once have. Right now, all i hope is, be happy in each and every living day.

I'm really feeling stressed out in school too. I felt that i won't be able to make it to sec 5. Really, POA i'm in the buang state. Chemistry and maths seem to be really hard for me to understand them. I know i won't be feeling so depressed if you're here with me.

Don't feel like doing anything. I need a long sleep.

A real long sleep. I'm tired, really tired.

Labels: all these while, i've been alone.

Sunday, July 19, 2009 10:25:00 PM

Shag.

My weekend was a blast.

Friday had soccer, which really kill me. Hmmm, my thighs are still aching now man.

Chasing a ball, someone imitate my screaming.

And my stamina is really horrible now. Panting away after the 50 minutes of running in a basket ball size field. Took a cab home after that, good thing was, not paid by me lah. hahaha. It's not whether where you go/where you are, but it's still the people who made it fun.

To say, it was a good and enjoyable one. (:

Saturday went to have breakfast in the morning with pearly and rachel. Bought our ingredient at Shop and save. Rachel's dad drove us to Her aunties' condo and we had a massive baking. First was yoghurt strawberry cheese cake, then was Macedonian nut cookie, and chocolate(nut cluster and those animal chocolate.) I made those animal chocolate for Carolyn as her farewell gift. Hope she likes it. Had poach salmon for lunch, her aunty cooked real good salmon. :D

We went on to swimming, and sauna! Had alot of treatment in the sauna can!! Hair, Facial, Body treatment. Her aunty brought those cream, mask and everything there!

Hahahaha. It was an enjoyable time. Never had so much fun in baking. Apart from the baking class in sec 3.

Meet the clique later in the night about 7.30pm.

Had dinner together. Lots of laughters and everything. Probably gonna to be the last time that we're meeting as a group. Cause my dearest carolyn chia is leaving soon. And i won't be going down to send her off. )': real sad. Anyway, i had a great night with them. Well, those times are really gonna to be missed. I really wished to go back to the days in sports orientation camp and appreciation party. Those times were the bestest of all. ): Like what kaiting said, time doesn't stop for us. It's pretty true. Can't we go back to those fun times and stop there?

Tmr shall be my gannation day.

For those who find troubles for me, i'll do the same to you.

I'm not someone who's likely for you to bully, it doesn't mean that i don't say anything, you can climb over my head. Shut the hell up, don't apologize when you know it's not me. You're just another asshole living in this world. Get lost seriously.. I don't need your comments, i don't need your stupid insults, neither do i need your stupid sorry, or your stupid slanders. Dumb ass, you made me feel like killing you. Go to hell won't you?!

Alright,

i shall really go to sleep. I'm real tired.

have been watching forensic heroes the whole day. & The show is really awesome.

the show really inspired me alot to work as forensic pathology.

For now, just study lah trina.

Hahahaa,

goodnighty people.

Labels: sorry helps, there's no need to have police.

Saturday, July 18, 2009 12:04:00 AM

not my fault yet my fault.

I was really really disappointed with my primary school's best friend. It's 8 years of friendship. He actually turn to me, scolded me when i didn't even know a thing at all. This pissed me off obviously, this also made my day hell like shit. It's supposed to be a happy and enjoyable day, because it's my last few days with Carolyn before she goes over to Aussie.

Well, it was damn ridiculous of them not to get the facts right and started accusing me. I'm really going straight to those asses face and really ask them what they really want.

TO A,A(X4),M.

1. Why the hell are you putting words into my mouth?

2. You're a real sicko.

3. I didn't say a thing, yet i was being treated like someone who was the master mind.

4. Someone who appears to be a good friend, yet stabbing things real hard at the back.

5. You sucks, really. I'm not saying that you're suck because of ur looks or etc. But ur heart, really cannot make it lah..

6. You had a real good friend who sides you whenever people bullied you, but what did you do in return to her? Hurt her deep down. Sick Bitch.

7. Stop stereotyping when you have ur own flaws too. Please no body is perfect in this life.

8. Sick bitch, what else? Please stop dragging more and more people in to this problem.

9. You are really, hypocrite.

10. Hey, each and everyone of you that i'm referring to, you all think is funny to create conflicts between my best-friends?

11. You all are really retard shit. TELL me how old are you alreay. Cant you stop that shit?

What kind of a person are you..?

I really had a real good time of scolding from chunhong. Thanks, thanks. You think i feel good getting scolded by him? You think i can treat it as nothing has happened? you think that the friendships of 8 years are fake? you think that it's funny dragging more and more of my best friends down? Seriously, i underestimate you. I didn't know that you were such a bitch.

Bastard,

Please don't freaking get involve in those stuff that doesn't concern u. and hell yea, i seriously had enough of you. Alright, i shall settle with you one by one. I had enough, my toleration is limited. I make sure you really really know what the hell you did want far too childish.

Alright, these have been said.

I really feel like kicking the ball to their face now.

I feel like slapping their face.

I really feel like doing smth violent now.

Sucha like, slapping those asses.

i really really didn't wish to drag any of my friends into this problem, oh well, it's not even my problem anyway. i was being accused. Alright, no one likes to be accused, you will do likewise if you're being accused. Anyway, i shall confront them and talk my bloody heart out.

I really cannot take these nonsense anymore. gonna to rant at them on monday.

Alissa, Alex. You both, Suck big time. Really hate you to the max now.

BYE, GONNA WAKE UP IN 5 HRS TIME.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009 5:22:00 PM

Screwed up.

I screw my N'lvl oral today. @ 2.30pm

The start was:

(Me) Good morning teachers.

(Teachers) Both of them: GOOD AFTERNOON~!

(Me) *Laughs ohoh, good afternoon. Sorry*

Today was the alternate one, so i happen to take the harder conversation. I think when i see the Picture Discussion, immediate reaction was stunned. Conversation questions, i know i went out of point. Ala, Heck care already lah.

Whatever it will be, gonna focus on my paper 1&2.

Whatever will be, will be.

Spent the whole evening doing a care for her. Haha, that's the least that i can do for her already.

I hope she will like it though, i put in my heart to do it for the first time lah. Hahaha.

So gonna meet Theresa, Carolyn and Maddie tmr at bugis after my school. & at night we're gonna to play fustal! :D

Saturday will also be an exciting day! Meeting pearly & rachel to go to rachel's aunt house to bake, etc etc. Swim, then in the night, gonna meet the gang! Probably it's gonna to be Carolyn's farewell dinner.(:

Alright, i'm gonna to sleep now.

Byee people~!

5:22:00 PM

My voice is hoarse, My gum is in pain, My ulcer is in pain. Oral pain!

today was a long and sleepy day. Nearly knock out from abc's lesson. Managed to tahan thru out. Hahaha, didn't nap or whatever ok!
Tmr's N'lvl oral. Gonna go sleep real soon.
My mouth is full of pain, ulcer, growing of wisdom tooth. Ouchh..
Alright people, i'm gonna take my oral alone man. /: all my classmates took expect for me. but it isn't a bad thing! Moron is taking Tmr too.
Luv you all. You know I do. (:
goodnight.

Labels: what's love to you?

12:11:00 AM

TeeeeHeeeee!!

Hahaha, if you notice.

Today was one of my best days in school. Days like this is hard to come by though. :D

My day was quite crazy. Had Maths lesson, followed by POA. POA is always crazy, because with those crazy people around. You'll go laughing together with them. Well, Chunhong&adrian really entertained my POA lesson. From a very very boring lesson, it really turn out to be real funny. No one can surpass those jokes. Hahaha, Adrian wanted to sleep but each time when he put his head on the table, Chunhong will help him to wash his hair. Damn damn funny. Wah piang, i seriously hate a stomach cramp after the lesson. Can you imagine the whole 2 period was spent, laughing, tearing because i'm laughing too much. Oh my goodess.

Especially lessons after recess. It was mother tongue and chemistry.

Pearly, Janice and i were pretty crazy again. We did some stuff, made noise etc. Hahaha, & again, got scolded lah. We're always scolded during chinese lesson. double Period for chinese today. Went to Chemistry lesson after that, Mr tan didn't even bother about us. I went to find the 2 crazy cha bors again. :) Haha, Tissue war lah. Janice started first! Hahaha.

After school went for lunch, headed back home.

Rachel & Kai came back home just now. (:

Had supper! (: It was good! Oh yes, i'm so gonna to meet Carolyn & gang on fri/sat!! (:

Woohoo! i'm so excited!

Btw, Ann left today. Kinda sad to see her leaving us. ):

She went back to thailand. Will only be coming back next month i guess. Didn't send her off because i was having school.

Take care dearie!

People, now is like.. 12.38am! I'm still transferring stuff to my hp! Hahaha, before i get bored in class tomorrow. I better transfer those videos of 法證先鋒II ! (:(:

<3法證先鋒ii>

Gotta go sleep already. Night people!

Labels: you showed me that i show do the same to you too.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009 12:09:00 AM

serene

alright, bare with me for 5 mins or so.. Gonna rant about school again.
school has been a hassle, each and every day when I got home from school, I feel so lethargic. I feel so tired too. @ times I told myself that I shouldn't feel so depressed. I should be like how I used to be, laughing wherever I go, making noise etc. But people do grow, there are things beyond your controls, there are thing beyond your limits, there are times of ups and downs. But tell me what can I do to make myself feel better? Or I should say, what can I do to control all these? it's really beyond my control. There are some good teachers out there to motivate you, there are also teacher out there to demoralise you. For those who demoralise me/us, what i'll do is usually talk back and to fight for out Damn rights, if you doesn't want to teach. Get lost, we do not need your unnessasary comments please. I would definitely appreciate if you shut the hell up actually. Doesn't really like those teachers. Some times even finding fault at me. ShiT you. Mdm khoo is one very good example who insult, who say negative things..
Alright, i'm gonna sleep now. Yes again.
Byee people. Tweet again when i'm in school Tmr...! C:
Ps: some people are just lealous~ lalala. I don't care what you feel about me anymore. & I feel so much better...!

Labels: I won't hestitate no more no more...

Monday, July 13, 2009 5:35:00 PM

You build me up, you tear me down.